Time as an Elusive Mistress

Dear reader, tiredness rests heavy on my shoulders like a bird, clamping its claws into my muscles and watching me, cold. Most days I arrive home with just enough energy to eat and collapse in bed. This is different. This is new. When I was younger, time swam in abundance, overflowing. I filled it with project after project. Now, I see time as an elusive mistress that, try as I might, I cannot woo.

This is okay. There are little bites, little moments, that sprinkle like sugar crystals throughout my day. These I glean and keep close. These are pockets of energy, of explosions, of vibrance! It's a shared laugh, a shared look, a running joke that keeps popping up, a string of good luck, a new connection. I collect these moments and hang them on my wall to think about when time seems to lose interest in me, passing me by altogether.

Or would it be that time can't get enough of me? Things go quick, like flip-book pages, and it is time's doing. Each day dances past me to faster music that I can't quite catch the beat of. Perhaps time is in love with me, and wants me to feel as much of her as I can.

I am tired, dear reader. My projects lay like forgotten pets, buried in my carpet, in the folds of my bed. I feel one prick at my side and am too tired to do anything but bat it away.

This is not true. I am writing now! Better yet... here is a completed project. I'm very proud of it. I created themes for each of my friends' Dungeons & Dragons characters, and drew each character involved.

Here's the YouTube Video.

Here it is on Apple Music.

Here it is on Spotify.

So there. I still create. I defy time and tiredness and I create. And that feels good.

Have you struggled with finding time for your projects? Let me know in the comments! I'd love to hear from you.